In Memory of Amy Schmaltz | Reflections & Processing

Hey guys, welcome into the platform podcast. This episode is a sad Reason to be recording. I hadn't planned on recording this episode, but with the news of Amy Schmaltz passing I felt compelled to Change my plan and record something different and Reflect on some of the things that I'm Processing after finding out the news of Amy's passing and Dealing with some of the grief and all of the Reflection that that comes with that There is a GoFundMe link That is in the episode notes If you feel compelled to donate Amy had has has two sons and they're Trying to raise money to make sure that her kids can continue doing hockey and Music and for funeral costs So if you feel compelled to donate please please do so if you're if you're capable So this is going to be a different episode, but I hope you're well and Let's be kind to one another. Thank you for listening all right welcome into the platform podcast. I Had a whole other episode planned to record today, but Some News dropped this morning late last night, I guess That kind of rocked the kettlebells for a world. So Amy Schmaltz was Was found in her home having passed away She was a member of King Canada A very talented blifter and Somebody who a lot of people in the sport know and It was very unexpected and I don't know anything more than that. I don't know any of the circumstances and I know it's It's pretty It's human nature In times like this when we find something out like this To want to know the circumstances and to try and make sense of it But I don't know any of that information. I'm Not actively trying to seek it out. I'm trying to respect Her and her family's privacy so But my my thoughts go out to Amy's family and friends and All of the lifters that knew her teammates People that have had a chance to meet her. I never had the opportunity to meet her in person, but I've you know followed her online and seen her lift and seen her videos and followed her on Facebook and Instagram and Interacted with her something there and It's just a very tough situation a lot of us are still processing and This is kind of my way of processing. So I hope to do this in as respectful of a manner as possible and I hope everybody understands that anything that I say is With the best of intentions in Out of respect and that I am Seeking to work through this myself right now So this morning when I found out the news and was kind of processing it Immediately struck a chord with me For for a number of reasons, but one of her teammates posted a Heartwarming tribute video Which I then shared on on social media But got a got a message from someone letting me know that the family Had requested that that people down. So I did so out of respect for the family and the family's wishes. So That that whole situation Is Incredibly challenging. I can only imagine For for her and her family. So I pulled that down obviously because I want to respect the wishes of the family And it really got me thinking And reflecting a lot on Many things but in particular I had had this topic in mind for a while of what I like to call the Resume virtues versus Eulogy virtues And in this context, it's incredibly Poignant and it really struck me to think about What is it that I really want to focus on and that I want people to to say about me at the end of my life whenever that may be Because if one thing that really should hit home for all of us, it's that this is This life is too short and We never know when when it's going to be our time so Really treat each other well and be kind to one another Try to make your mark and live with urgency Because you never know Tomorrow's not promised to anyone And again, I don't know any of the circumstances I'm just saying that because to me and to many of us it's just it's very sudden and You know, I mean my wife works in an ER She's she's at the ER right now working and Every day that she goes to work she sees The fragility of life and how quickly through no fault of your own it can just be done and that should imbue all of us with a sense of urgency and deep appreciation and empathy and Oddly enough gratitude and hope because as temporary and short as all of this seems it's also incredible That we get the opportunity to exist at all I mean assuming that you Agree with the idea that that we do in fact exist and that this is You know this perception that we have is is something resembling reality It's it's something that should fill All of us with with gratitude that we that we get this chance That we get this opportunity to live And so I've been really reflecting a lot on how do you strengthen balance between The resume virtues versus the eulogy virtues because resume virtues are important And I guess I should articulate what I mean by that resume virtues are achievements and qualifications and Things that you put on your resume you know typically in the traditional sense right like I went to Luther College and studied psychology and sociology and I graduated in you know 2005 With my bachelor's of arts and etc etc and all of the things that you did And then you move on to your professional career and you list What are your achievements? managed attaining You know achieved ex-result achieved why result coached Developed you know all of those action words that we're all trained to highlight on our resume and those things are important They they really are they are they're important if you care about achievement and you care about professional success and you care about your development But there's also The the other side of the ledger to me is the The harder side. It's the What do I want people to really remember me for? um He cared deeply about other people and Was giving and Made an impact Loved Brought joy was joyful um You know those those Harder to achieve things But the things that people really remember you for I don't want To be remembered simply for achievement And that's something that has Kind of spinning me out right now Because I am Very achievement oriented and I've talked about that in the past On this podcast about how achievement has been a way that I've Focused my energies and It's helped me deal with imposter syndrome and it's helped me deal in a you know pro somewhat pro-adaptive way um Deal with self esteem issues and shame and guilt in all of those things um, but at the same time Those achievements At the end of the day Need to matter at a deeper level than just Achieving something Right like I saw a funny I saw a funny Commentary where it was like about physical appearance and Like I don't ever want to be called pretty because pretty is just like it just means nice face But beauty comes from the combination of Your soul and how you treat people and and maybe also being physically attractive And I don't remember I don't remember what athlete or actor or whomever it was that said and I just it just Resonated with me because I thought that was funny But it's it's true Like an achievement in and of itself. There's nothing wrong with but achievement without something deeper behind it is hollow And vapid and I think that's the the thing that's got me really Ruminating in Processing a lot is Thinking about What am I trying to achieve and why am I trying to achieve it? Is there anything deeper behind it? Is there a greater Good that's going to come out of it or uh, you know, or is it vanity? Is it based solely on selfishness because if it's a selfish vanity project then What's the point Um, I don't know it's it's quite the struggle and especially when you're you know publicly Working on a weight loss goal like I am um, you know It can it can feel Vane it can feel unimportant but The more that I've thought about it the deeper meaning behind it for me is wanting to share in the journey Share with others so that they can um That they can learn from my mistakes Hopefully learn from my successes. Hopefully I can pass on some knowledge so that Anybody that comes behind me has an easier path Than I have then I have had um I I want Just as I want for my kids, you know, uh to To be able to learn from my mistakes and not repeat them um, it's kind of that same motivation um I want people to know I want people to know the mistakes that I've made and learned from them and I want people to to learn the things that worked Well and be able to repeat those so that their journey is is Just so much more efficient and better and that they can find some success in it um because I do want people to live healthier happier lives and It's really really easy to waste a lot of time and waste a lot of energy and to get the priorities wrong and Uh, really spend too much time focused on the wrong details and this goes you know To so many to so many things right and it also gives me pause about am I focusing my energies on the right things Because again, what is it that I you know, what is it that I want to be remembered for? You know, I want to be You know someone who Took care of his family so achievement is important if I'm going to be professionally successful in order to take care of my family But taking care of my family isn't just paying the bills and keeping a roof over our heads uh, you know and You know uh, my wife and I have have a greater A greater calling than that. That's not that's not taking care of the family um, it's It's also nurturing our children teaching them Right from wrong teaching them how to have a normal relationship with food Teaching them how to have a normal relationship or I shouldn't say normal a healthy relationship with food and a healthy relationship with their body And a healthy relationship with exercise and how to manage their emotions and all of those things and I struggle with this Because as is my nature I can focus very very heavily on all of the all of the ways that I screwed up are so so clear to me I always remember the mistakes and I'm it's easy for me to sit and focus on those in Process those over and over again all of the mistakes that I've made but I also hope that I'm That I'm doing some good things and that people are My my kids, I mean when I say people that my kids are seeing Good examples too and then I'm that I'm sending more good examples than bad examples In my head it always feels like that's not the case because I remember all of the mistakes Way more uh, then then the good things. I remember the times that I lose my temper Way more than I remember the times that I didn't Lose my temper and there's probably more of the times that I didn't than I did But the times that I do I remember and I it's challenging So I'm not sure that there's a larger point to this This is really just me externally processing some of the things that are going through my head So if you're listening, thank you for listening But Really just I really just want to make sure that I'm focused on the on the right things and That I know And I want to leave a legacy of positive change And it doesn't have to be You know a massive legacy like Martin Luther King or something like that. I'm not I'm not trying to um to have my name remembered throughout the ages Or anything like that I just want to leave the world better than I found it And I want the people whose lives I've Been fortunate enough to intersect with to have been improved by having known me and to give what I can um and to to share To share in the journey with people in an empathic way and in a loving way And in a way that hopefully enhances their experience and brings joy in leaves people Feeling good when they interact with me. I want I want people to have I want people to to leave their interactions with me feeling better than when they uh Then when they started, you know, ideally That's that's obviously not going to happen every single time And not every single interaction is going to be uh Not every single action is going to be impactful or or matter um, but I you know, hopefully the cumulative effect of uh Interactions is net positive um And people can people can know that I That I that I cared and that I wanted that I wanted their time on this little speck in the universe to be as enjoyable as possible because it's Not promised to any of us anymore than the breath that we have right now in the moment that we have right now and yet We have the ability to Reason into the future and think about our future impact and reflect on our past So that we can optimize our future as much as possible and that's such a unique thing um The human the human experience the human condition To have consciousness and to have the ability to live in the moment and look forward and look back And to try and balance those things um Really really challenging but but really really Wonderful So with that I'm going to sign off and Tell you all again. Thank you for listening Thank you for being part of my life. I hope that I'm having some positive influence on your life Um, if there's anything I can do to support you and make your journey better Let me know That's that's what I'm here for. That's that's what I'm trying to do and uh I hope you're doing the same I would uh, I would say If we can all do that the world will be a better place if we can all try and We can all try and think of what what positive virtues do we want To reflect in the world and what do we want people to To think about us uh at the end when whenever that may be for us um, so That we can all leave the world with A little more joy than That we existed and that we were here So Let's go do that Until next time I wish you all well love you and Make it a great day. Thanks for listening